_True story. A talent manager walks into an agent's office, four well-built women in tow. He makes a pitch; a family act involving props. Before the agent can say a word, the guy--probably the world's most dedicated talent manager--strips naked and lies face down on the floor. The ladies, each of whom could start on the Chicago Bears defensive line, do a number on his... well, that's not important. What's important are the tools they use; a baseball bat, a golf club, a lead pipe and a pair of steel-toe boots.
_Once the excrutiating "act" is finished, the guy slowly gets up and asks the agent what he thinks. The agent, an old Hollywood player who's "worked with the best" (Pinky Lee, Baby LeRoy), regretfully informs him that it's been done before.
_"I got an act like that already," the agent says, "it's called The Aristocrats."
_A simple journalistic account does the joke zero justice. Rob Foster, the guy who delivered this particular variation of the hallowed comedic ritual known as "The Aristocrats," is the one who really nails it, from the agent's nasal voice to the illustrated interpretation of the look on the manager's face.
_Now the rest of the comedy loving world is in on the joke, too.
_Foster, a Monterey resident, and Monterey County Herald employee, took the First Place honor in a contest sponsored by THINKFilm Co., to see who could come up with the best rendition of the comedy world's most notorious "insider" joke; a rite-of-passage routine that inspired the feature documentary "The Aristocrats" in mid 2005, produced by Paul Provenza and Penn Jillette (the tall, talking half of Penn & Teller).
_Foster won the contest's Animation category, earning $1,000 and, more importantly, a spot among the Special Features on the film's DVD, which was released January 24, 2006.
_Foster shares the spotlight with Peter Kremidas, the stand-up category winner, from Indiana.
_"From this point on, when someone picks up 'The Aristocrats,' I'm going to be there," Foster said with a laugh during a recent interview.
_The movie's premise, based on the joke, is simple enough; a talent manager walks into an agent's office and pitches an act. From there, it's up to the person telling the joke to come up with the foulest, most graphic description of ungodly acts perpetrated by man or woman--and oh yes, make it entertaining!
_The filmmakers use this as the framework of their documentary, assembling a who's who of the world's top comedians (George Carlin, Chris Rock, Sarah Silverman, Bob Saget--to name but a few) to either tell their personal rendition of the joke, to vulgar effect, or to elaborate on the joke's historical significance. While it's not necessarily a competition, each comic seems to vie to outdo all previous efforts by his or her fellows, inevitably resulting in an extemely raunchy or disturbing tale.
_Foster said the film's crassness may be a turn-off to some, but ultimately, the joke is an exercise in storytelling for comedians, and in that sense, has what some may deem legitimate value.
_"The purpose is really to master the craft of comedy through the telling of the joke," explained Foster, a former stand-up and seasoned community theater veteran, who has done local productions, in northern and central California, for the past 12 years. "The punchline is a throw-away--a tweak of irony--that does little more than plug the tail end, so the story has a finish."
_Foster's own rendition of the joke is hilariously vulgar, using his own animated drawings and voice-over narration to outrageous effect. The contest judges were compelled not only by Foster's cartoon illustrations, which are detailed in graphic still frames, but also to his unique take on the joke, by telling it from the perspective of the agent.
_"The concept of his entry was so different from anyone else's," said Dave Hudakoc, marketing director of home entertainment for THINKFilm Co. "His telling of the joke was very original, and definitely a different take on the joke from the others."
_It was also, surprisingly, one of the less volatile. Striking, considering that Foster's version is, well, downright filthy.
_"In terms of vulgarity, it was one of the tamer entries," said Hudakoc.
_When the movie was released in the summer of 2005, Foster learned of the contest by seeing it advertised in the film's closing credits asking for comics to submit their own tellings.
_Friends urged him to enter, but he was hesitant to just record himself on a microphone before a camera, thinking he'd be "one more also-ran, doing the same thing as everyone else."
_A peek at the movie's website revealed an Animation category, which prompted Foster to reconsider, albeit with little time left. He began working on the project like a man on fire, and completed the 4-minute short in a week, beating the contest deadline by only a day.
_"I did comic strips in high school, and won a few awards as an editorial cartoonist in college," said Foster. "Essentially, the film is me telling the joke, much like any stand-up, but instead of me with a mic, it's my drawings."
__Foster's comic artwork is featured in color stills throughout the short, in a style that he muses as a throw-back to the old ways of cartooning. "By hand, pen and ink... no CGI," though admitting that the finishing touches were accomplished with Adobe Photoshop, and the film itself was created using iMovie.
_The icing on the cake is Foster's outlandish narration in the voice of the Hollywood agent. Foster based the character on his first Hollywood manager, who was a mere degree of separation from many of the vaudeville and film comedians of yesteryear. "I had an old-school type agent in Los Angeles, whom I found out later, had at one point represented Harry Ritz! That was a mind-blower.
_"I needed to create a character who would exemplify this over-the-top Hollywood & Vine old-timer," Foster said of the boisterous agent, who talks a thousand miles a minute. "He's like Jerry Lewis at 100," Foster said.
_The first time Foster heard the joke was from another stand-up comedian, Geoff Brown, over ten years ago. Foster's own stand-up career was in tumult after an abortive performance that left him wondering about pursuing other career paths. "I was the worst of five comics, and the last to go on. A drunk got up on stage and passed out, and was funnier than me."
_Even the nightclub staff felt Foster's pain. "When I got off after an eternity up there with just the crickets chirping, the bartender poured me the world's tallest beer. I told him I couldn't afford it... he said, calmly, 'oh yes you can.'"
_He did not understand The Aristocrats' place in the comedic lexicon at the time. "I heard it, but I'd more or less forgotten it over the years. I wasn't aware of its history. I guess (Brown) was letting me in the club, and I didn't even realize it."